What makes a man happy?

The Man phones to his home from abroad...his relative picked up the phone...
I want to talk to my wife, said the man.
Relative: She has died just before one hour...come home soon...we tried to call you..
Man: ok.

The man calls again and demand to talk to his wife again...
Relative: As I said, she died...
Man said ok.

The Man again calls to the home and again wants to talk with his wife...
The relative gets angry and said: I have said to you twice that she is dead. you have to come to home. Why you asking same question?
The man: OH!! when you are saying that my wife has died, it is giving me pleasure...

Use of Toilet Brush

Robert is smart and very concern about hygiene.
To ensure some hygiene practice, once he purchased his Grandma an exceptionally decent, lavish bathroom/toilet brush in her birthday. After some days, when he went to visit her, it wasn't in the restroom, it was in the locker.


Robert asked his Grandma, "Gran, what happened to the brush I gave you to keep clean?"


Grandmother laughed and said, i am keeping it for strong butt. All these years I am using toilet-paper after the toilet. The brush is so hard for me and it makes me bleed!!!

Keeping Coffee and Ice-cream Together

A blonde have notified that her colleague has a bottle with him, so she approaches him what it's for. He reacts, "It keeps hot things hot and chilly things icy."

The blonde promptly gets one for herself. The following day, she goes to work and gladly shows it.

Her collaborator asks, "What do you have in it?"

She replayed, “Coffee and ice-cream”.

Four Legs? Who are the owners?

A Lady returns home late one night and unobtrusively opens the way to her room. From under the sweeping, she sees four legs rather than simply her better half's two. She goes after a stick and begins hitting the cover as hard as possible. 

When she's set, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, perusing a magazine. 

He says, "Hello sweetheart, your Mother and father have come to visit us, so I let them remain in our room. Did you make proper acquaintance?"

Ant made an Elephant Pregnant!!!

An Ant is running away from the zoo. A rabbit stopped him and asked him what the matter is?

Ant: Do you know the lady elephant is pregnant?

Rabbit: It is a good news. So, Why are you running away?

Ant: I think it was me who makes her pregnant cause I went through her V.... few weeks ago and I don't want to be a father of elephant sized Ant. 

TAX for people...the fence repairing TAX

Three workers are offering to alter a broken fence at the White House. One is from New York, another is from DC, and the third is from Texas. Each of the three run with a White House authority to look at the fence. The New York contractual worker takes out a measuring tape and does some measuring, then works a few figures on the paper. "Well," he says, "I figure the employment will keep running about $1500. $600 for materials, $600 for my team, and $300 benefit for me." The DC contractual worker additionally does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can carry out this employment for $1200. $500 for materials, $500 for my group, and $200 benefit for me." The Texas contractual worker doesn't gauge or figure, however hangs over to the White House authority and whispers, "$5200." The official, doubtful, says, "You didn't quantify like alternate folks! How could you have been able to you concoct such a high figure?" The Texsa worker whispers back, "$2000 for me, $2000 for you, and we procure the person from DC to alter the fence." "Done!" answers the administration official. Then there will be a new TAX for people...the fence repairing TAX

.

Naked Chicken!!!

Two Peckers have been walking on the street...

Suddenly one asked another to go to a Kebab Shop...

Then went there...After a while they came out again...

One pecker asked another, “Why we went there?”

Another Pecker replied, “Nothing, I just wanted to see some naked chicken, they are hanged naked on the oven.”

Cut your workload

A man went to computer shop to buy a computer.

He don't know much about computer but he is very clever...

Salesman: Sir, This is the most updated computer, it will reduce your work time 50%. Cause, it is very speedy.

The cleaver man: Ok. Give me three of them. Two for me, one for my PS. Then I can rest after having her...

Where the Bills went?

A one dollar bill once met with a fifty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I have not seen you around here much."

The Fifty dollar bill answered, " I have been hanging out at the casinos in Vegas, went on a cruise ship and did the rounds of the ship, back to the USA for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the Shopping mall, that kind of staff. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, You know, same old stuff...church...church...church..."

A Small Birthday Gift

Dad is asking his son what he want in his birthday...

Dad: Son, Alex, what do you want from me in your birthday?

Son: Nothing much Dad. Just a cool leather seat.

Dad: do you want a new sofa?

Son: Nope dad. I just want a cool leather seat with a Ferrari around it.